Regrets are pointless: let’s move on

Recently, while surfing the mysterious world of ABC-TV, I stumbled upon an episode of  The Assembly where Guy Sebastian is interviewed by 35 autistic, neurodivergent and learning disabled budding journalists.

The enthusiasm of the event is contagious as the focused interviewers challenge their idol to soothe their  restless souls with inspirational,  heartfelt insights.

Needless to say, Guy performs brilliantly with emotional honesty  and respect.

Despite battling to rein in the awe of their host, the interviewers plough on professionally with innocent curiosity and without agendas. Guy’s responses are equally on song without dancing around any obviously uncomfortable topics. No apologies for the puns.

I know it will never happen but I imagined sitting in the hot seat, surrounded by admirers wanting a glimpse into my inner thoughts and emotions.

What a thrill that would be!

If the unimaginable did happen, here is a possible transcript of the episode, part 1.

Abbey: “Charlie, you are in your seventies and still working full-time, with no intention of slowing down any time soon. You have lived a productive life. Have you lived a good life?”

Charlie: “If you mean am I likely to be nominated for a sainthood, not in this lifetime. But I have always been honest and fair in business, socially, in sport and with family. I’ve developed strong values which I proudly stand by in good and bad times. My motto is: ‘Whatever choice you make, as long as you make it for the right reasons, it’s the right choice’.”

Dale: “What scares you?”

Charlie: “More than coming on this show? Nothing! I believe there’s a difference between fear and anxiety. Let me explain. Fear is spontaneous, while anxiety is anticipation of fear. Fear might happen when you’re about to step on a snake or some idiot overtakes your car on a bend at ridiculous speed; you have no say in that. You deal with it as best you can in that moment and if you’re here to tell the story, you got it right. Anxiety, however, develops over time and may or may not be founded. I felt anxious about coming here tonight but since quickly realising that we all have mutual respect for each other,  I am now only mildly terrified about the  next questions.”

Evie: “This might seem a bit of a cliché question, but if you had your time over, what would you do differently?”

Charlie: “Nothing.”

A moment’s silence.

“If I did one tiny thing differently, everything would be different. I wouldn’t be the ‘me’ that I am now. My story wouldn’t be mine.”

Evie: “So, you don’t have any regrets?”

Charlie: “None. They’re pointless.  I’ve done things I wish I hadn’t and wherever possible I’ve tried to redress them, but I put everything, good and bad, down to experience and learn from them.  Regrets, resentments and what-ifs are  all dead weight because they’re historical.  The future is what we live for and we make that happen now, in the present.  The past is gone, forever.”

Savannah: “Abbey said that you are in your seventies. Would you be offended if I ask you how old you are?”

Charlie: “I know I agreed not to skirt around any questions, and I’m certainly not offended by your question. I just want to say that age is merely a number and I have never had any regard for birthdays. The only birthday I really hung out for was my 18th so I could get my driver’s licence and ‘legally’ drink in pubs. My 21st and 40th were good celebrations, but other than that, I really don’t recall many. To answer your question, let me say I’m old enough to know better and young enough to do it again.”

 Charlie Griffiths is a certified life  coach and Neuro Linguistic  Programming practitioner. Contact  Charlie at his website: charliegriffithscoaching.com